Go Away Tumors!

Dear Tumors in My Dad’s Body:

We’ve never met before. I’m Lauren, Bob’s daughter. I can’t say that I am pleased to meet you since you were forced into my family’s life by no choice of our own.  You are making my dad's life miserable. And, I just won't have it!  I really wish you would go away and never come back.  To help in that effort, today the doctors will be administering a cocktail of drugs through my dad’s body.  He starts chemotherapy today because of you.  Four hours of what I can only imagine is not fun.

I hope the drugs kill you. I hope the drugs shrink you down to a size so small that nobody can ever see you again.  I have never been a violent person, never been in a physical fight in my life, but I wish you physical harm and pain. 

I can’t believe that you have the audacity to come into a man’s life when he is clearly at his prime, with no warning at all.  Frankly, you should feel ashamed of yourself.  From all of the people who love Bob, please just disappear and never come back.  I will not miss you when you are gone.  You are not wanted here. You never were.  Please LEAVE NOW!

Best regards,

A loving daughter